Let a new life begin, as soon as it grows from the earth!

 Hey there.

I am currently in a bit of a gloomy mood, I am afraid. Anyways, I *tried* to write a poem about the way I feel right now, and it is in German - once again -, but I shall try and translate it ...

Neues Leben Sprießt(?)

Eingefangen zwischen Wörtern
Horche ich und blick* hinauf.
Ich sehe nichts mehr außer Fragen.
Und sogar diese stehen drauf,
Sich in den Weg zu stellen mir.
Ich weiß, ich kann nichts sagen
Und weiß ich viel, so weiß ich nichts,
Wer kann mir das erörtern?

Das Leben geht wohl seinen Weg,
Und ich muss ihm wohl folgen.
Und ich weiß, ich soll dankbar sein,
Doch weil ich eh nur Zweifel heg*,
Geht*s weder *raus, noch dort hinein.
Entführe ich nur die Gefühle,
Wenn ich mit meinesgleichen spiele?
Und was, wenn ich mich gleich hinleg*?

Ich glaube, bald und jetzt (zu spät),
Dass sich das Tor nun schließe.
Ich stehe betend vor der Tür,
Bitt* um Einlass, sogleich, hier.
Und rüttel* an dem Husten jener,
Die sich nur grämen wegen mir.
Auf dass ein neues Leben starte,
Sobald es aus dem Boden sprieße!

Ich weiß, ich sage wenig diesen ...
Vielleicht versteht ihr meine Angst.
Doch will ich mich jetzt nicht entschließen!
Egal, ob du jetzt um mich bangst,
Ich werde, werde nicht es tun,
Egal, ob du jetzt nach mir langst,
Es ist nun Zeit, mich auszuruhen,
Und selbst wenn nicht, ich denk* in Miesen.

Translation :

New Life*s Growing(?)

Caught between the words,

I am listening and looking up.

I don*t see anything except for questions.

And even those are turned on by

Getting in my way.

I know, I cannot say anything

And knowing much, I don*t know anything,

Who can explain this to me?

Well, life is going its way,

And well, I have to follow it.

And I know I should be grateful,

But since I only nourish doubts,

It*s going neither outside, nor inside.

Do I just kidnap feelings

When playing with those like me?

And what if I lay down right now?

I believe that soon and now (too late)

The door will close down now.

I stand infront of the door, praying,

Begging to be let in, right now, here.

And I am shaking the coughing of those

Who are ashamed because of me.

Let a new life begin,

As soon as it grows from the earth!

I know this means nothing to those ...

Maybe you understand my fear.

But I don*t want to decide right now!

No matter if you are scared for me,

I will, will not do it.

No matter, if you want to grab and beat me,

It is now time to relax,

And even if not, I am thinking in red numbers.

Wow, translating is HARD. Especially since there*s a lot of colourful speech in here. I guess nobody will get the content either, and nobody will understand what each line means, but still, I am kind of content with this poem. Even though translating is HARD. D:

Thanks for reading, though. :)

Wo Sein Hintern Ist! (Poem in German)

I was booored, and once I am booored, I need to get ouuut of this staaate of miiind. So I wrote a poem. :)

Wo Sein Hintern Ist

Liebes Kind, dein Leben ist,

Was gut und schlecht und Beben ist.

Dieser Mann, ein Internist,

Sieht nicht mal, wo sein Hintern ist.

Und pupsen kann er auch ganz gut,

Und schnappt sich seinen Bauchtanzgurt,

Mit dem die Stärken lauter würden,

Doch sieht er nichts vor lauter Hürden,

Und schwebt hinfort, als er sich wundert,

Mit KMH der Marke Hundert!

Transl.

Where His Butt Is

Dear child, your life is

What is good and bad and earthquake.

This man, an internis,

Does not see where his butt is.

And he can also fart very well,

And grabs his belly dancing belt,

With whom the strenghts*d get louder,

 But he doesn*t see anything because of the hurdles,

And floats away once he is wondering,

With a speed of 100 KMH!

I know it is just the most beautiful piece of poetry I have ever written. Somehow I cannot stop grinning for this reason ... :P

That said, I also worked on some more music today, but I desperately need to record my vocals before putting these music masterpieces online :PP.

And soon I hope I will be able to watch the movie Snow Sharks, because I can. :PPP

HAPPY NEW YEAR! (A tiny bit late, but still ...)

Hel-di-lo everybody!

How have you all been? While you have been busy doing whatever was on your mind & most likely being productive beyond my own imagination, I have been a lazy bum and didn*t do much. I played the guitar every now and then, figured out how to play parts of "Jingle Bells" on my own for Crizzlemas, & all in all have not been a really good person. Part of this is to be blamed on my depressive side coming in and saying HELLO! every now and then. But I am trying to shake it off.

I know not many people over here are regular readers, but if you have stayed with me no matter what, I*d like to thank you deeply, sincerely. I hope everybody got into the new year with a lot of fun and joy attached to it, and that you don*t have any headaches (I did have headaches for several days in a row now & it turns out I am not really at my best health right now anyways, so ... Yeah. :( *complains*).

I want to get more active over here, too. After all, I love this blog so much so why should I deny updating it? :P As for this year, I didn*t make many resolutions, but those I did make (There are two), I hope I will get to work on a LOT :). One is health-related and the other one is career-related ^^.

Thank you for reading. ^.^ BYE!! :)

New song on its way : "Orion" :).

Hey there!

I had been fairly busy ever since the 21st, since we rescued a tiny kitten on that day and have to feed him & take much, much care of the little boy. But I love him so much and I wouldn*t want it any other way. ;) His name is Orion*!

That was actually a reason to work on something for him. To honour him and give him some feedback music (and maybe he will fall asleep when he hears it ...)! I might work on more art concerning him (I*d LOVE to draw/paint him on a canvas / piece of paper!!), because he really is a little muse for me :).

If you want to listen to the song, here it is. What do you think?

And with this, I shall vanish again :).

Have a great time, until the next time~!!

~Rina

Radikale Selbstliebe in Form einer Bibel :).

Heyho, my little pirates *ARRR*! :D

How are you all? *group hugs* I have been feeling quite unproductive recently, so I decided to take a break from the internet, which I didn*t succeed in for real but still I also focused on other things, so I got some things done. Maybe some of you know about the "Radical Self-Love" movement that Gala Darling started, and if you know this, you probably know about the "Radical Self-Love Bible", which I must admit I just made for myself.

I often struggle with self-doubt, if not self-loathing, and therefore I decided I would make this Radical Self-Love Bible for myself, in order to lift my spirits a little. So far, I created a front page, and two double pages on characteristics of mine. :) This might be far from "perfect", but then again, it is not perfection we should be striving for. ^^

Here are some pictures I took today :

This is the RSLB from the outside. I bought it like this but I also plan to beautify it a little more :). I love the Zen feeling I get when looking at it, too.

This is the front page and ... Yeah ... I accidentally wrote "Bibel" (German for "bible") instead of "Bible", but once again, what is it with perfection? Hm? Screw it :P!

"Authentic" is the first double page. I cut out this picture in the center and ... I used super fast glue to glue it to the page ("Kra!", goes the crow : "Mistake!"). But once again, screw perfection. It only makes me sad because the pages tend to stick together ALL THE TIME. Is there any way to remove this effect? I am quite unsure ...

"Empathetic". Yes, that is Sailor Moon (Favourite anime/manga character of all time! OF ALL TIME!! :D). Yes, I drew that myself. Yes, free-handedly. :)

"Imaginative". There is this card I made for my solo music project (Valley Visionary) that I glued (This time not with super fast super sticky glue!) to the right page. I cut out one part of this card and wrote something into it. I think it is just "Imaginative = Rina! :)". And it is sad that some things don*t show well enough here, like the moon and the sun and the clouds and the stars ;).

I really think there is much more to work on in this project, and maybe some pages will need to get re-vamped a little. But so far I like it.

What do you think of my RSLB? & what would you put into a Radical Self-Love Bible? :)

Bloglovin -- I am loving it!! :)

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(Because the site is awesome ^^!)

Distraction

Hello!!

I have been going through a time when I was really depressive lately and didn*t have the will nor drive to do something creative. Somehow I have overcome it by taking some words to my heart, allowing them to pass by the super highway towards my thoughts, so that they can wipe out some doubts. Knowing me, it being over now forever would be too easy, but I sincerely hope I will use my new way of dealing with it in the right time ...

Anyways, I have been working on music a lot, both trying to figure out how to play certain songs (I would call it "tabbing", but I didn*t actually TAB anything, I just tried to find out how to play them on the guitar ^^.) and writing my own song ... It was mainly just ONE song, so no plural is needed I guess. I also found out that some of my older uploads are not available anymore, yaaay. :(

So yesterday I had the idea to write a poem, and make it up as I go. I called it "Distraction" because ... Ah, you will know!

Distraction

I will try to understand
All the things I can and can*t,
I vow for me to see the beauty
Not by claiming! More than duty!
Tolerant and open-minded
That is it, so please don*t fight it!
Flowers growing into heaven,
Amps that go up to eleven,
Movies that are oddly funny!
Music! Manga! Dark is sunny!
I see myself, and I see you,
I wonder always, how do you do?
If possible, I*ll grab your hand,
Fly up with you to wonderland,
Being utopic shows potential
Of that that might be influential,
And even if you see it not,
Think of it as the soft spot
Of Earth, of water, air, and fire!
Here*s my donkey, Mister Meyer.
And if he*s noisy in the morning,
Please be gentle, it*s no warning.
It is just what donkeys need to do
In need to express their love for you.

((Fun fact, though, I have been wanting a donkey that I could call "Mister Meyer" for 10 years now or so - no joke.))

Also, the poem is the second written for a challenge (101/1001), and I somehow like it ... ^o^