They mean time... I mean... In the mean time...

Hello dears!

How are you all? In the meantime, I haven't done that much, except for entering another competition, but this isn't over already, so please keep your fingers crossed for me! I also started writing a new story, about a character I've "known" for -several- years now. I am really looking forward to the story progressing.

I also picked up the book "Living Out Loud" by Keri Smith again... Have I ever mentioned how much I love it and how inspiring / motivating I find it? :D I might write more about this soon-ish.

I desperately hope I can start working my way through the series of telling you how to play single songs. :) I thought I might make a video for this purpose (and maybe one day, I will) but as for now, I'd rather want to start doing it in writing. It is really easy, though. (I am not lying! It was just yesterday that I figured out how to play the X-Files intro on my guitar with this "simple technique" [[God, I sound like I have a lot of spam to come!! :P]]... But it is really a technique and it IS simple. And you'll get the info... Without having to pay anything!! :P)

Have a lovely (rest of the) day, my dears!

~S. R.

Spellbound...

Hey-dee-ho my dears!

How have you all been doing? I have got some news for you... Maybe not really intriguing, but still NEWS.

At first, I participated in this years NaNoWriMo. I made it through the first days, and wrote most likely about half the words expected (Currently, I am unsure, but I wrote more than 25,000 words). I hope if anybody of you guys participated, that you had a great time; it was surely great for me. There were various reasons I didn't write more, though. I felt like a real failure afterwards, because I didn't make it, but I really had a hard time coming up with much else. I felt that the story I wrote was finished after these 25,000+ words I wrote, too. All in all, it was a dilemma, but I loved getting to write that much :)... Now I am thinking about really revisiting the story, working on it more, and still, well, finishing it? And that is probably the best outcome I could have gotten from NaNoWriMo.

Also, one of the personal conclusions I got off the challenge was that it is not a bad thing to be "not in control" of one's life that much, that, in fact, it is the best way to re-kindle with all kinds of passions one has in life. :) Maybe some of you felt the same, especially since i did not really have a "guideline" for my story, which may also have been a bit tough in the end, but still!

Has anybody of you participated? Did you learn anything from participating (now or beforehand)? I'd really love to hear about that.

Then, I finished one more item off my 101/1001 list (writing 10 poems). That poem which got me there, is the following (translation below as always!):
 

Ein Schritt zurück

Fuß um Fuß setz' ich nach vorne
Dennoch gehe leer ich aus
Ich sage, spreche, rede immer
Doch geh'n mir nie die Wörter aus

Ich sage "nein", will nicht verletzen
Beleidigt geht er nur nach haus
Ich sage "ja", will niemand töten
Weinend reißt sie sich heraus

Ich tue nichts und tue alles
Und sehe jeden Fehler ein
Ich wünschte nur, da wären keine
Ich fühl' mich nutzlos und so klein

Fuß um Fuß setz' ich nach vorne
Schwöre mir, nie steh'n zu bleiben
Die Warnung überhör' ich wirklich
Will keine Sorg' mir einverleiben

Fuß um Fuß, die Strecke lang
Wie lang muss ich noch gehen?
Jeder Schritt ein Schritt zurück
Wann seh' ich Fahnen wehen?

Fuß um Fuß, Leben geht weiter
Die Angst ist ein beliebter Gast
Fuß um Fuß, hinab die Leiter
Solange bis man sich selbst hasst

Jeder Schritt ein Schritt zurück
Ins Land, in dem ich noch Mut hatte
In dem die Fehler mich nicht störten
Wann ich eintreffe, wär mir Latte

Doch leider geht das Leben rund
Ich steh' daneben, am Abgrund
Ich will doch leben, eine Stund
Keine Fehler und kein Mund

***

Translation (rough!):

A step back

Step by step I'm walking onwards
But I am walking empty-handed nevertheless
I am saying, speaking, talking always
But never I am short of words

I'm saying "no", don't want to harm
He's returning home offendedly
I'm saying "yes", don't want to murder
She's removing herself, crying

I'm doing nothing and doing it all
And admitting every mistake (I make)
I only wish there wouldn't be any
I'm feeling useless and so small

Step by step I'm walking onwards
Swearing to myself not to come to a stop
I'm really ignoring the warning
Don't want to swallow any sorrow

Step by step, the path long
How long do I have to walk on?
Every step a step back
When will I see flags waving?

Step by step, life goes on
The fear is a popular guest
Step by step, down the ladder
Until one hates oneself

Every step a step back
Into the land where I had courage
Where the mistakes didn't matter
The time of arrival wouldn't matter to me

However sadly, life goes round
I'm standing (somewhere) off, at the abyss
I just want to live, for an hour
No mistakes and no mouth

***

So, that's that for now. As X-mas is approaching, I wish each and everyone reading the best X-mas (whether you celebrate it or not) EVER :D.

Love,

~R.

And the grinning award goes to~ ...!!

Hello everybody!!

I am writing something spontaneously for you :). Here you go :

***

'I am waiting for your sweetest nightmare to come and take your soul, and I have been doing this before, remember?' was the only thing she did remember witnessing when she was falling into a deep dreamless sleep. Everything around her was foggy and dark. She could barely see her own hands before her eyes.

The light was switched on, while he started getting closer to her.

'Leave me alone!' she cried. Fear in her eyes, she didn't even dare meeting his cold eyes.

He smirked. 'Oh, I shall. Once you have told me everything about what I asked you earlier.'

What has he even asked her? She tried to remember, and thought hard, but nothing - except for these words - was coming to her soul. Tears ran down her hot face, and she started breathing in the same speed as her thoughts ran and raced through her mind, leaving nothing behind whatsoever.

She closed her eyes, and panic-struck, she yelled : 'I am cold, I am sick, I want to go home!!'

'Sure you do. However, I want to know everything.' He whispered dangerously.

This was the moment when he tore down her soul and took a long, deep look into it. Her memories being pushed backwards into what seemed like the ultimate memory of everything that has happened to her in lifetimes before (or so it seemed), she stood up, exhaling slowly.

Nobody has ever dared to get this close to her, nobody but him. She was sure she was going to lose this fight, but no matter how she would lose, he had threatened her, he had crossed the line, and he was not going to be shown another fragment of the (actually she thought it was) brave soul that she was.

'I have told you I don't remember, and here I stand now. Take everything you want!' She looked him directly in the eye.

'What has happened to her?', he wondered. Was it really in-character for her to stand up, or was it yet somebody else he was facing? Whatever had happened, he could not hold back his smile.

'Stop grinning, you lousy-', she started threatening him.

'Oh, are we getting annoying? Has puberty finally hit you?'

She glared at him. All the hatred, aggression, as well as apathy she had been feeling in the past, or that seemed to have hurt her soul immensely in the past, stood now up inside her, defining a new sense to herself.

'You have nothing but your words. You did not hurt me, and I am sure you never will!' Her eyes narrowed. 'You are a coward!'

He had to admit he was quite shocked because of her words, yet nothing seemed as daring and challenging as the look in her eyes that she was exposing to him.

He came nearer, but with a quick movement, he was thrown to the floor. Angrily he stood up again, and faced her. He decided to run for it, run as fast as he could, run for his life, and for his revenge. Whatever has happened to her, it must be treated as an altered state of mind, he suspected her to be delusional.

Storming in her direction, he was soon to be thrown to the floor, and this time, she had taken her chance to stomp one foot onto his stomach.

'I swear if you do this again, I will not remember my nicer side of myself anymore!' She smiled. 'Now WAKE UP.'

***
 
Yeah, I have no idea what the above means really. I only tried writing as "gracefully" as I could, and it was an experiment. I hope you like it nevertheless.

I am off now, waiting for my birthday :P.