New song on its way : "Orion" :).

Hey there!

I had been fairly busy ever since the 21st, since we rescued a tiny kitten on that day and have to feed him & take much, much care of the little boy. But I love him so much and I wouldn*t want it any other way. ;) His name is Orion*!

That was actually a reason to work on something for him. To honour him and give him some feedback music (and maybe he will fall asleep when he hears it ...)! I might work on more art concerning him (I*d LOVE to draw/paint him on a canvas / piece of paper!!), because he really is a little muse for me :).

If you want to listen to the song, here it is. What do you think?

And with this, I shall vanish again :).

Have a great time, until the next time~!!

~Rina

Radikale Selbstliebe in Form einer Bibel :).

Heyho, my little pirates *ARRR*! :D

How are you all? *group hugs* I have been feeling quite unproductive recently, so I decided to take a break from the internet, which I didn*t succeed in for real but still I also focused on other things, so I got some things done. Maybe some of you know about the "Radical Self-Love" movement that Gala Darling started, and if you know this, you probably know about the "Radical Self-Love Bible", which I must admit I just made for myself.

I often struggle with self-doubt, if not self-loathing, and therefore I decided I would make this Radical Self-Love Bible for myself, in order to lift my spirits a little. So far, I created a front page, and two double pages on characteristics of mine. :) This might be far from "perfect", but then again, it is not perfection we should be striving for. ^^

Here are some pictures I took today :

This is the RSLB from the outside. I bought it like this but I also plan to beautify it a little more :). I love the Zen feeling I get when looking at it, too.

This is the front page and ... Yeah ... I accidentally wrote "Bibel" (German for "bible") instead of "Bible", but once again, what is it with perfection? Hm? Screw it :P!

"Authentic" is the first double page. I cut out this picture in the center and ... I used super fast glue to glue it to the page ("Kra!", goes the crow : "Mistake!"). But once again, screw perfection. It only makes me sad because the pages tend to stick together ALL THE TIME. Is there any way to remove this effect? I am quite unsure ...

"Empathetic". Yes, that is Sailor Moon (Favourite anime/manga character of all time! OF ALL TIME!! :D). Yes, I drew that myself. Yes, free-handedly. :)

"Imaginative". There is this card I made for my solo music project (Valley Visionary) that I glued (This time not with super fast super sticky glue!) to the right page. I cut out one part of this card and wrote something into it. I think it is just "Imaginative = Rina! :)". And it is sad that some things don*t show well enough here, like the moon and the sun and the clouds and the stars ;).

I really think there is much more to work on in this project, and maybe some pages will need to get re-vamped a little. But so far I like it.

What do you think of my RSLB? & what would you put into a Radical Self-Love Bible? :)

Bloglovin -- I am loving it!! :)

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

(Because the site is awesome ^^!)

Distraction

Hello!!

I have been going through a time when I was really depressive lately and didn*t have the will nor drive to do something creative. Somehow I have overcome it by taking some words to my heart, allowing them to pass by the super highway towards my thoughts, so that they can wipe out some doubts. Knowing me, it being over now forever would be too easy, but I sincerely hope I will use my new way of dealing with it in the right time ...

Anyways, I have been working on music a lot, both trying to figure out how to play certain songs (I would call it "tabbing", but I didn*t actually TAB anything, I just tried to find out how to play them on the guitar ^^.) and writing my own song ... It was mainly just ONE song, so no plural is needed I guess. I also found out that some of my older uploads are not available anymore, yaaay. :(

So yesterday I had the idea to write a poem, and make it up as I go. I called it "Distraction" because ... Ah, you will know!

Distraction

I will try to understand
All the things I can and can*t,
I vow for me to see the beauty
Not by claiming! More than duty!
Tolerant and open-minded
That is it, so please don*t fight it!
Flowers growing into heaven,
Amps that go up to eleven,
Movies that are oddly funny!
Music! Manga! Dark is sunny!
I see myself, and I see you,
I wonder always, how do you do?
If possible, I*ll grab your hand,
Fly up with you to wonderland,
Being utopic shows potential
Of that that might be influential,
And even if you see it not,
Think of it as the soft spot
Of Earth, of water, air, and fire!
Here*s my donkey, Mister Meyer.
And if he*s noisy in the morning,
Please be gentle, it*s no warning.
It is just what donkeys need to do
In need to express their love for you.

((Fun fact, though, I have been wanting a donkey that I could call "Mister Meyer" for 10 years now or so - no joke.))

Also, the poem is the second written for a challenge (101/1001), and I somehow like it ... ^o^

New series in this blog! ANNOUNCEMENT!!

Heyheyheeeyyy!

Okay, so I will start working with the fabric (panne velvet) I bought recently soon, but I wanted to stop by to quickly announce something new.

I want to start a "How to" series here, too. I have some ideas on tutorials I could post already, too. If you would like to read about how I happen to write songs (I know there are people doing it in a different way, and that*s fine. I just want to teach you "my way" to do so :).), or if you want to learn how to build a web site, or if you want to learn knitting, ... You will be happy :)!!

I don*t know the title yet, but I hope you will enjoy it. After all, I think this is more of interaction with other people, and we all can learn something new along this way! Learning is cool!! :D

Many greetings from this place of planet Earth,
~Rina

FABRIC FABRIC FABRIC!!! :)

Hey guys.

My thumb is feeling better, although I can still see the wound (I can even (SLIGHTLY!) pull up the part of my fingernail which got hurt and look underneath it, but that*s beside the point :P!). I am not wearing any band-aid anymore, and am also not feeling bad anymore because of the vaccination, harhar.

This week (I think even TODAY!) we plan on getting some fabric to make things out of (That is what you do with fabric, isn*t it? YOU MAKE THINGS OUT OF IT!!), and I really am thinking about posting a tutorial in that relation, but I am not sure whether this would be okay with the owners of the patterns / instructions I*d do this with. It is solely FOR ME, though, I am not going to sell these things or anything ;^^;. It is just, I never sewed anything; I once tried to sew ears onto stuffed animals (horses), and I completely failed because I have never done this before and was too proud to tell anybody about this circumstance :\. Yaaay? -___-

So, what would I like to make? I really want to get some fabric to either make a skirt of OR a pullover (I know pullovers are often knitted, but this one*s sewn and like a hoodie (SP?). I will at least present the result of my hard, hard work, AND I will link to where I found the pattern or instruction. :) I hope you will like it!! ^_~

(OH, btw, you Germans ... "Fabric" means (Textil-)"Stoff" in German and not "Fabrik" (This would be "factory", as a ... matter of fact *places sunglasses on her nose* *DUUUH*!!) Okay, I will leave. ;)

Lame excuses? Thumbs up!!

Stupid Rina. Stupid, stupid ME. Yesterday, I cut myself accidentally with an axe. Don*t worry, my thumb is okay, but it is still hurting sometimes - when touching stuff -, and I don*t really have the will to draw anything right now. I am sorry.

I promise I will get back to doing something with this blog as soon as possible, especially since it means a lot to me, and I couldn*t get this out of my mind.

On the lighter side : On Friday, we found a great place to buy fabric at ... Not online, no. It is very close to where I live. Am looking forward to working with awesome fabric and presenting you the benefits of sewing ;)!!

Much love from me at this point!

In the mood for some royalty?

Heyhey and welcome to day 3 of the first QUARTERLY CREATIVE PROJECT. :) Before I start I wanted to mention to the people reading and living in Germany : Please - if you like to, of course! - go and buy the newest issues of "Simply Kreativ" AND the special the magazine "Brigitte" just released this month for sewing, knitting, crocheting, patchwork, embroidering, etc. Both are really good, and I bought them myself yesterday! They are even cat-approved!!

Yoshi* likes the articles, as well as the gimmicks of the "Simply Kreativ" mag. ^^

Next, of course, I drew a portrait today :). This time, it was still not "perfect" BUT I can see some progress, BUT you have to make sure not to laugh, *kay? That is because I chose a character we all met at some point, and not a "real human being" (except for those doing readings (cartomancy) with skat cards), but I am talking too much again ...

Ladies and Gentlemen!! Here he is!!

I guess you guys know who he is already? If not, here is the comparison picture, also for reference on what the effing eff I did wrong this time. But again, what is perfection? An enemy. That*s right *nods*!

Hahaha :D. I hope you like what you see. If not, still go and buy those magazines :). If you live here, that is!

Love you!!

2!! Peter, please don*t hate me for this!!

*talks to herself* "This is about making progress ... This is about making progress ... This is about-" OH, HAI.

So, this is the result of the second portrait I tried drawing, and I am stressing the word "tried" here. This time, it features a famous person, namely "PS" of the bands/projects Project Pitchfork, Santa Hates You, and ImAtem. Well, these are the ones I have heard so far. They are actually really good; you should listen to their music *advertises*.

Anyways, I tried drawing him. The result was a ... I cannot describe it. I feel so ashamed, and also, it is barely recognisable. I am sorry, PS, you certainly don*t look like thiiis~!! :(

But, this is about progress. I might get back to drawing him again once I feel more comfy drawing portraits. As of now, I am not content with this at all. But this is (also) probably my perfectionism speaking. Hm. Anyways, here it is :

TADAAA! I know you can hardly see it. I didn*t drew the left ... Unfortunately.

BLAH.

Quarterly Creative Project. The intro. ^^

Hello my dear readers :)!

Yesterday, I have been having a not-so-good day, and ended up writing a really depressive entry into my paper diary. Somehow there were several things placed on that diary and I had to go through them anyways and found some old ideas of mine, some tips on how to cope with having too many goals for one lifetime, and such. But first things first :

When writing all these things down (the ones I found last night), I had been reading the book "What Do I Do When I Want To Do Everything?" by Barbara Sher. Well, the German version, of course. Anyways, this book deals with a certain type of people, which Barbara Sher called "scanners" : Their interests have a broad variety, many think they have to put everything into their job to really enjoy it, but since they are never completely fulfilled with doing only one thing out of their interests, they suffer greatly and in the end most likely quit.

I found out I must be one of those people, and it was at first not really easy to accept my "milestones" as what they were. In fact, I had forgotten long after working with the book that I even had milestone moments in life, and maybe that was what pulled me down.

However, I went through all these old ideas, and I stumbled over the term "quarterly creative project", which is exactly what it sounds like : You choose something to do creatively for the next three months and work your way through all the ideas you have, concentrate on one topic for a quarter of a year. I wasn*t sure what to choose but since I had tried to draw portraits and I wish to become better, I will choose drawing portraits as the first challenge for three months. I hope I will finally be able to draw shadows for real (Since this is the biggest trouble I have with drawing portraits), and that I will learn new techniques and get to draw a LOT more :).

I of course don*t want to give up other things, and I might end up doing them, too, but I find the idea to work on something that intensely really thrilling!

Here*s the first portrait of the series. The one I worked on today. Let*s see how my portraits look in three months, shall we?

I will keep you updated. And yes, I put the original there for comparison. See you later, alligator!

Cannot stop crying.

This morning, when I came into the living room, I was told that Robin Williams has died. I won*t go into all the details I read about until now, but at some point, I couldn*t bear the pain of this loss anymore, and I wrote a little poem for him :

I don*t know where to start, and I don*t know where to stop.
The feelings I have so hard, and I cannot stop the sob.
A shelter I am looking for is never there to hide.
From this and all and everything, I don*t know what*s inside.
Of me and you and everyone, can*t be absorbed in the tide.
I miss you, that is all I know, may God be by your side.

It is so hard to think of all this, and even though I know I should not focus on the loss, but focus on the happy moments he gave us, on the thought-provoking quotes, etc. He will be greatly missed.

One thing I want to express, however, is that all you who are suffering from depression (or other mental illnesses) are not alone. I have been in situations when I tried to take my own life, but obviously I was never successful. I was in a mental hospital twice in my life. A friend* of mine commited suicide when I was 18 ... She was one of the greatest people I have ever known, and an inspiration to many people around her. I have felt like ending my life was the only option available for me at many times in my life.

If you are in the same situation, please reach out for help. I have done so, too, and sure, there may be people who could not take it seriously, but all in all, most people are much more althruistic and willing to help you than you might think, and I am speaking from my own experience. If you want to, talk to a friend whom you trust, or a family member, or a teacher. Anybody whom you can trust really ... Most people would regret not having had the option to help you in such times if you did commit suicide. I really don*t want this to sound like PRESSURE, but I know I did wish I knew about my friend*s struggle back then. And I regret not having had the power to help her. If you like, you can also call a helpline. (For example, this page (I hope linking is okay?) provides a list of helplines.) As far as I know, you needn*t state your full name or could also go anonymously, and you can talk openly to somebody who is not involved and who is not as subjective as your friends or family are. Whatever you prefer, please do it.

I wish I could provide help to anybody who is suffering from depression or other mental illnesses really, but I don*t always know whether what I say would help somebody in need. :( However, I see everybody as somebody who can teach me about things. You are special in your own way, and you CAN inspire others!! Please remember that.

Okay, this got a little rambly, but I hope you are alright ... If you have anything to add, please feel free to leave a comment. If you want to comment, also feel free to leave a comment. And if you don*t want to, that*s perfectly fine as well.

Yayyy, an entry!! :P

Yesterday, my sister (Meian*) and I wanted to draw / paint so badly that we gave in in the end. We both chose a colour to draw with (I chose RED, her drawings were BLUE.) and off we went to let the fun happen! We both closed our eyes and randomly drew a few lines in all kinds of shapes on the piece of paper ... There need not have been 6543413 lines, I maybe had three to five of them in the end. The next step was easy. Draw what comes to your mind (eyes open) using the lines you already have. So I drew the following :

The worm*s saying "It*s winter!" and the elephants say "Not all things here are like they seem to you." Also, the bird king is wearing a "Bommelmütze" on its head (Like a hat for winter, with this little thing put on top of it that*s really fluffy and stuff.).

We also did a second round, in which I ended up drawing mating snails ... Except for them having changed their position, obviously. I know I should feel ashamed for this, for even having drawn this in the end, but ... I am not :P!

This snake is thinking : "I feel sick!" Also, I love the voyeurist frog. And I just noted that I mis-spelled "tip" in the end. Thanks go to the New German Orthography, in which "tip" is really written with double "p". Anyways, yaaay.

The idea came from MaryDoodles on Youtube, I think (Meian* mentioned it to me. I have seen one of her videos, though, the "Edison vs. Tesla" one, and it is FRIGGING AWESOME!! :) She is very talented.).

I am happy that I feel a lot more motivated to go for other things now ... Even if this just seems "childish" or "silly", I loved the idea, and it sparked so much inspiration for me again :). Thank you for reading, and see you soon!!

Ich habe mal wieder gezeichnet ... :)

I was in "that mood" again yesterday, which to me means, "drawing mood". Menaing I drew. I drew a picture of Malice Mizer in different times with the clothing and poses and such I thought would fit best to them. For some reason, the times didn*t always correspond with each other.

From left to right : Közi (impersonating Dalí in my mind for some reason), Kami (As I*d imagine him to have looked during some kind of revolution or war), Gackt and Mana in more or less traditional Japanese clothes (Mana looks like a rapper to me!), Yu~ki as Count Backula, Klaha writing to Yu~ki, and Tetsu ... works at a spaceship, apparently. :)

I don*t know what was wrong with me. I also wanted to draw hands better (I often avoid doing that!). I hope you can see what I mean :).

Oh the dreaded pliers. :P

I am currently taking a break from the place I usually wriite at, thus trying to gather more time and ideas for projects I could talk about here :).

Since I*m currently taking part in a project for people who want to make greeting cards and such, I got to make greeting cards a lot recently, but I cannot show evidence since I didn*t take any pictures. It was really amazing, though; we worked with water colour crayons, i. e. crayons that you paint something with, and then you grab a paint brush (NOT too wide, though!), dip it into water, and brush over what you painted ... It will give a little water colour effect, and since I love water colour pictures, I want to try this at home. We also added smaller things to the cards.

Right now, the next step of the project is to make things for Crizzlemas (something that, once folded, looks like a tree or an angel or whatever), aaand we start making key chains ourselves next week. All this really IS inspiring me to make my own greeting cards and such. Working with the pliers (something that is necessary for making key chains) was a little hard, but I will get the hang of it after a few tries I guess :).

Then, I am planning on corresponding with other people more via actual letters, which is a good idea I think, since I haven*t written to people in such a long time. ^^

I also want to make a list of projects I really want to do, but then again, they are probably not always unlike the original ones. I want to try some things, though, like ...

* CRAFTING MORE.
* Making stuff off FIMO.
* Making jewellery myself.
* Working on the perfect paper (...) :D.
* Painting an actual picture with water colour crayons first and then making a water colour painting out of it.
* Making an actual art journal.
* Continuing to work on my RSLB.
* SEWING, knitting, etc.

I have found that, unlike what I believed when I was a child, I am not that bad at crafting. Back in my childhood, I thought I totally failed there, but I also guess I just didn*t have the right tools ... E. g. the glue I used always was very dry and didn*t stick. And I could barely use the scissors I had. It is getting better :).

Ich hatte Langeweile, und wenn ich Langeweile habe, schreibe ich Werbetexte.

(In German)

So oder so ähnlich werden wohl die Gründe für das folgende in der Debakelgebirge gelegenen Dorfschaft Geigergrab entstandene Werbetextchen ohne Sinn und Verstand gewesen sein :

"Aus Russland sind alle Yodaxode-Hersteller gekommen!! :D*

* Sind auch SIE Yodaxode-Hersteller? Unsere Firma ist stets an neuen Produkten aus dem Hause Yodaxode interessiert, was ich an dieser Stelle noch einmal betonen möchte.
** Haben Sie Probleme mit Ihrem Yodaxode-Produkt? Melden Sie sich doch bitte bei unserem Customer Consultant Team und wählen Sie die Nummer, die wir in unserem General Information on Yodaxode Products Video angegeben haben, oder kommen Sie einfach vorbei. Eilen Sie dazu die Entengasse entlang, dann die nächste Straße links und daraufhin drehen Sie sich einmal um, fahren zurück in die Entengasse und spühren Sie etwas von dem Flaire unseres herrlichen Yodaxode Distribution Centers. Es lohnt sich ;).

Yodaxode ist und bleibt DAS Topp-Produkt aus dem nach dem Produkt benannten Ort Yodaxode. Sie werden sich nach dem Gebrauch des Produkts so fühlen, als wollten Sie nie wieder etwas benutzen, was nicht aus dem Hause Yodaxode, das für Topp-Qualität zu Topp-Preisen und Topp-Konditionen steht, kommt. Yodaxode -- Der Weg ist zwar bereits frei, aber wir machen ihn noch freier für Sie, damit Sie unterwegs etwas von unserem Yodaxode-Flair fühlen können. Yodaxode fühlen, Yodaxode verstehen. Dafür stehen wir. Seit 1986."

Wer JETZT noch wissen will, was zur Hölle ein Yodaxode-Produkt ist, dem kann ich wirklich nicht mehr helfen ;).

In diesem Sinne -- Guts Nächtle und SERVUS!! :P

REIMEN UM JEDEN PREIS

Stell* dir vor, mein Kind, wenn*s wäre

Dass nur Reimen bringt dir Ehre!

Dass der Regen aufzieht und verglüht

Und danach die Sonne blüht!

Dass das Leben aufgeht wie der Mond,

Worin ein Häschen lang schon wohnt!

Stell* dir vor, es gäb *nen Reim

Auf Kleberleberrabenheim!

Und alle, die nicht reimen können,

Würden machen nur ein Rennen!

Ja, wir reimen immer hier!

Geh* mit mir durch*s Zimmer, Tier!

Wer sucht den Sinn,

Ist bald dahin!

Wer küsst die Feder,

Zieht nie vom Leder!

Wer mich jetzt sieht und sagt : "Der kann es!",

Dem sage ich sobald dann : "Hannes,

Man muss nicht Reimen in Gedichten!"

"Geht*s denn nicht um tief* Geschichten?"

"Auch nicht, nein, und jetzt mal ehrlich :

Ich find* Reimen an sich recht gefährlich."

This is my life ... :)

Those who have a certain song from the movie "Fight Club" stuck inze brrain now, I salute you.

And that said, HELLO!! :)

I figured I never really shared much more of my life with you guys, so there you go. Moments taken from my life ... Enjoy. :)

Recently, we saw ducklings in a city close to where I live. I hope you can spot them on this picture (It is a little hard, but you will eventually see them --- I hope?) :).

This is the book I am currently reading (Danny Wallace*s "Yes Man"). I love drinking tea, too, in my Barbapapa cup, because Barbapapa brings back happy memories ... =) The book*s also pretty good so far!!

Recently I cut my hair ... It was pretty long beforehand, and yes, I did that all myself. :)

Some time afterwards, I also shaved my hair. There are more steps yet to come ... As in, applying bleach + dying the hair again in brighter colours :).

By the way! Since I am a little suffering from Blogger*s Block as of now, I*d like to ask YOU : What would you like to read? Is there anything you are interested in, or that you*d love to read more about? :)

Since I really wanted to post more photos, this is some kind of attempt to do better. :) Maybe you will see more "artistically worthy of recognition" photos, but as of now, deal with the ducklings :P ... :D

And the grinning award goes to~ ...!!

Hello everybody!!

I am writing something spontaneously for you :). Here you go :

***

'I am waiting for your sweetest nightmare to come and take your soul, and I have been doing this before, remember?' was the only thing she did remember witnessing when she was falling into a deep dreamless sleep. Everything around her was foggy and dark. She could barely see her own hands before her eyes.

The light was switched on, while he started getting closer to her.

'Leave me alone!' she cried. Fear in her eyes, she didn't even dare meeting his cold eyes.

He smirked. 'Oh, I shall. Once you have told me everything about what I asked you earlier.'

What has he even asked her? She tried to remember, and thought hard, but nothing - except for these words - was coming to her soul. Tears ran down her hot face, and she started breathing in the same speed as her thoughts ran and raced through her mind, leaving nothing behind whatsoever.

She closed her eyes, and panic-struck, she yelled : 'I am cold, I am sick, I want to go home!!'

'Sure you do. However, I want to know everything.' He whispered dangerously.

This was the moment when he tore down her soul and took a long, deep look into it. Her memories being pushed backwards into what seemed like the ultimate memory of everything that has happened to her in lifetimes before (or so it seemed), she stood up, exhaling slowly.

Nobody has ever dared to get this close to her, nobody but him. She was sure she was going to lose this fight, but no matter how she would lose, he had threatened her, he had crossed the line, and he was not going to be shown another fragment of the (actually she thought it was) brave soul that she was.

'I have told you I don't remember, and here I stand now. Take everything you want!' She looked him directly in the eye.

'What has happened to her?', he wondered. Was it really in-character for her to stand up, or was it yet somebody else he was facing? Whatever had happened, he could not hold back his smile.

'Stop grinning, you lousy-', she started threatening him.

'Oh, are we getting annoying? Has puberty finally hit you?'

She glared at him. All the hatred, aggression, as well as apathy she had been feeling in the past, or that seemed to have hurt her soul immensely in the past, stood now up inside her, defining a new sense to herself.

'You have nothing but your words. You did not hurt me, and I am sure you never will!' Her eyes narrowed. 'You are a coward!'

He had to admit he was quite shocked because of her words, yet nothing seemed as daring and challenging as the look in her eyes that she was exposing to him.

He came nearer, but with a quick movement, he was thrown to the floor. Angrily he stood up again, and faced her. He decided to run for it, run as fast as he could, run for his life, and for his revenge. Whatever has happened to her, it must be treated as an altered state of mind, he suspected her to be delusional.

Storming in her direction, he was soon to be thrown to the floor, and this time, she had taken her chance to stomp one foot onto his stomach.

'I swear if you do this again, I will not remember my nicer side of myself anymore!' She smiled. 'Now WAKE UP.'

***
 
Yeah, I have no idea what the above means really. I only tried writing as "gracefully" as I could, and it was an experiment. I hope you like it nevertheless.

I am off now, waiting for my birthday :P.

Poets try to write poetry, haiku*s cooling ya down.

I tried writing some haiku while listening to music videos on Youtube. :) They are not to be taken too seriously, I just had these ideas ... Thought about sharing them with you :) :

Love Army?

An army of love

Now came through the air to me

To predict my death.

Since plays with words really amuse me from time to time, I wrote the following :

Sarcasm

Poets, try writing
Haiku for your own good *cause
Poems are so out.

And since I wanted to try writing one sentence into more than one line (I failed, partly), here*s my attempt to do that :

The Letter

Hearing silence for
My own good. Return as soon
Soon As possible.

*goes back to listen to more music ... or to scrapbooking?*

Sew awesome!! :)

Sew awesome & special!! Oh my, those puns are GREAT :D.

How are you all? I somehow wanted to share with you some resources about sewing. I went to a small list of things I*d like to do and there was "Learn to sew" written on this, so I thought I should write about this a little, share some resources with you, etc. :)

During my childhood, I had an almost-"sleeping beauty" moment when I tried handling a sewing machine without anybody to give instructions & help, and then got my finger in between a piece of fabric and the needle - ouch! That moment, I SWORE to myself to never touch a sewing machine again. In fact, I started despising people who did sew, and I though they were "too feminine" in my eyes. Because being feminine is evil and all that *note for the readers : SARCASM!*.

Then Natron & Soda happened to upload their page(s); I am mainly refering to the actual site of "Natron & Soda", because Soda took down her site years ago, and I won*t blame her for this. However, "Natron & Soda" REALLY was a great place to start, at least for me. Basically, the page used to be all about sewing and generally making goth-related clothing, accessories, and so on. It is amazing!

So, I made a list of clothes to sew, but the list grew and grew and basically said includes (almost) every piece of clothing introduced on this site :). I *always* wanted to cut that list down, but all the planning is getting boring, to be honest. I can, however, see where the patterns come from - or better said, there are (mainly?) sewing instructions on the page on how to make your own unique pattern and how to sew it. They also give tips on music to play whilst doing that, and many people have contributed their own sewing instructions :).

So that was a turning point - discovering this site. Ever since, I couldn*t stop thinking about "I want to sew!", just imagine that with a zombie voice ... "Need ... to sew!! BRAINS!" (Need to sew brains? - Sounds like a cute version of a plushie to me :D!) Ah, that said, they also featured how to make some plushies on the page. I will put the link under "Resources" :).

(The page*s in German only as far as I know, though.)

So, I bought some books from book-selling pages which are famous for low prices :). Around the same time, Burda (a sewing/DIY magazine) released a collection of four magazines in which they explain the basics of sewing, and that said, the instructions are easy to understand. :) For example, I learned (theoretically) how to make a bigger version of an existing sewing pattern - which to me is really important, as many awesome sewing patterns are not available in my (plus) size.

On BurdaStyle*s homepage you can either download [or order?] sewing patterns ("Schnitte & Shop"; you can also regularly buy the magazine, it is really worth it!) ... There also is a section (somewhere) in which people explained how they tailored their clothes, plus there is a how-to on how to (ORLY?) make your own dress form. Great, I say!! (Also in German.)

Then, there are also resources like Dunkelsüß, Kostenlose Schnittmuster, and Cut Out And Keep. Dunkelsüß is probably most famous for being probably the most popular German-speaking page on which you can find information on lolita clothing. I am far from being as elegant as many lolitas (I mean it! I am just really clumsy and all that :(!), BUT I love the fashion styles in this genre. It is beautiful to look at, plus I like the broad creativity which enables fashion designers to create unique and pretty pieces of clothing.

BTW, there is a great page called SpoonFlower for designing your own fabric!! (Link in the resources!)

Anyways, I*d love to try out wearing Lolita fashion [I don*t want to make myself ridiculous but it would be an honour and a pleasure to me to wear it?], and for the reason Dunkelsüß also offers some sewing instructions for Lolita fashion, I want to go for this :). (Reminder to self : Do that!! :D)

Also, you might find the releases of the "Gothic Lolita Bible" interesting. They also feature some patterns on how to make some Lolita fashion items yourself, like scarfs and such. I only own one of the releases but they show how to make a skirt there, explain how to alter sewing patterns, and there*s a kitten scarf explained :). The version of the GLB I have is in English even.

Kostenlose Schnittmuster is a collection of links to all kinds of sewing patterns online. Some descriptions are in foreign languages like German, [English,] French, and Japanese. I guess there are even more languages I didn*t come across, but brace yourself for the mass of languages you can choose from (I find this amazing. If you need help with some, please tell me!).

As for Cut Out And Keep, that is an English-speaking page on which everybody can contribute their WIP for creative projects. Some might show you how they painted their shoes, some may show you how they dyed their hair, some may show you how they tailored a skirt ... It is an amazing resource and in my opinion one of the best :)!!

Of course, you can also google DIY blogs or craft blogs or sewing blogs or whatever you like.

Lastly, some words on the "Nähmaschinen-Führerschein" and the "Große Nähschule" : I have bought the former book, and it is showing you step-by-step how a sewing machine works. You have small tests to pass after each lesson, and all through the book you get to sew smaller items like plushies or bags.

The latter I haven*t bought yet, BUT I once saw it in a book store in one of my former hometowns and thought, "Someday I will buy this book!! It is amazing!", and my opinion hasn*t changed ever since. Fabrics are explained, steps on how to sew what are explained, and so on. I think it doesn*t contain any sewing patterns unfortunately, but the general knowledge delivered makes it worth the price nevertheless.

Okay, now I want to sew :D. I also have two (!) sewing machines, one is a bigger one by Singer, and the other one is one of these small sewing machines which you can use for smaller projects. Which one would you choose for your first projects? (I haven*t tried either of them. Maybe they still need some oil or so? Hm!)

Resources :

Web Sites :

* BurdaStyle. (Also has a "physical" magazine you can buy over here.)
* Cut Out And Keep.
* Dunkelsüß.
* Kostenlose Schnittmuster.
* Natron & Soda.
* SpoonFlower.

Books :

* Der Nähmaschinen-Führerschein (Author : Eva Schneider).
* Die Große Nähschule (Author : Alison Smith; original title : "The Sewing Book").
* Gothic Lolita Bible.

Hossa, me again!!

Lately I have suffered from many things which I don*t really want to go into detail about now. However, I ended up reading (almost completely) through a list put online by Gala Darling on how to overcome "Blogger*s Block" (I accidentally tend to write "Blogger*s Blog", haha. Thank you, thank you!), which encouraged me to do the following.

I recorded myself singing. Again. Somehow I always tend to sing something, but I want to improve after all, and how to improve singing? By sitting there and not doing it? WRONG! :) The original song is sung by Rihanna and you may recognise it. I don*t want to do any copyright infringement, I am not earning any money with this, it is just me trying to sing something I think some people may recognise so that ... I can get better? Maybe I will record the same song some time again, and see how well I have done. :)

Russian Roulette? 

What do you think? Constructive criticism counts ONLY ... (I know I screwed it up ... At least partly.)

RSLB, home improvement and bad news.

Hello.

I haven*t been around much and I am sorry for this. However, I wanted to tell you some things that have been going on in my life/our lives lately.

One of our cats got very ill, and after several days he spent at the vet and his feet all being paralysed in the end and him being in pain, he was put to sleep. The doctor said it is possible that he had a meningitis or maybe a moving thrombus, but either way it was really painful for him ... He was 12 years old when he went over the rainbowbridge and has been my feline companion ever since he was three months old. I miss him a lot ... I am not crying that much anymore, but this doesn*t mean he isn*t missing. Everything reminds me of him. But somehow my own belief is giving me strength - which I won*t go into detail with now, because belief is something very personal and I respect that others may not have the same ideas of the afterlife as I do.

Then, we did a lot of DIY work at home. Lots of work like building up furniture again and painting walls. I didn*t do much of all that, though, but I am still kind of pleased with the results, plus the colour in the kitchen is really lovely and warm.

And I am working on a scrapbook-kind of project. Maybe you have heard from Gala Darling before; she is one of my favourite bloggers :). She also is the one innitiating the Radical Self-Love movement, and also came up with the idea to start a Radical Self-Love Bible, which is the project I am working on. The only downside I have come across thus far is that I used too much glue and the sides are stuck together now? I will maybe remove them and tear them apart again, and then "glue" them in with some kind of poster strips. Sounds like a better idea to me? Or maybe glue stick instead ... :\ I loved the work on it so far, though. :)

For those interested, here*s a link to the Radical Self-Love movement and several texts on that subject for that matter ^^ : *Clickedy Click*.

Attention seeker?

Recently, I saw a poetry contest on the website of one of the most popular women*s magazines in Germany, and even though I did not really read through what you could get as a prize (I*ve done so by now, though), I decided to join in and post a poem by me. The subject had to be linked to the topic of spring, and once I submitted my poem, I waited and waited and waited, and still didn*t see anybody voting my poem up.

"Unbelievable!" I thought, and I got really bitter. I started blaming not only myself but also everybody reading the poem and not voting up, especially since I felt like this step provided me with confrontation, as in, I felt like opening up my chest, grabbing my heart, and holding it up for others to maybe take it and love it, or to just trample it down, and the final feeling was : They chose the second option.

By now one person has pushed the "LIKE" button, but there are a myriad other pages filled with poems now and I guess, that was that? Or maybe not. I somehow feel like taking part in another competition, and another one, and another one, so many that I finally feel like I am contributing something that was made by me to everybody else, and I came to see by now that, well, who cares if people hit the "LIKE" button or not?! And who cares if I win the trip to the garden show?! I mean, it would be nice, of course, but it is not what defines me in the end.

I felt like I wasted so much time up to now, or I spent it shivering and shaking and being afraid of the "coming out" as an artist. I now feel like time*s shifting in my favour, whatsoever. No matter how many people*ll read and like what I wrote, it still is a part of me, and I am damn proud of taking this challenge!!

And, frankly, there is so much tough competition between creative people already, and people seem to define themselves concerning the amount of "likes" they got for their art, but one "like" cannot speak for how it made YOU feel in the first place to create this piece of art/writing/music/whatever. And that*s probably the most important thing. I once read you should not compare the entire path that led you towards your current self with the (seemingly path-less) present of somebody else.

So, there is no plan anymore. I want to try out things, experiment, and find myself in the mess I am creating :D. And I am pretty damn sure I will be very, very happy with this. *nods*

~The person who doesn*t make any sense.

Das ist kake mit dem Zumba-Zombies!! XDDD (Those getting the reference, I salute you!!)

Hello again!!

I just ordered four (!!!(!(!!!))) books (including two (!!!) manga (!!!) *slaps herself*). The manga are just from the series Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon/Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon/Sailor Moon/whatever, and the books are "Find Your Happy" (by Shannon Kaiser) and "Living Out Loud" (by Keri Smith). I think both can really help me right now, because I felt / feel somewhat stuck in a rut (creatively, for example).

If anybody has an idea how to overcome this & you say it before Thursday, I salute you. (Why am I saluting everybody? ANYWAYS!!)

Last night I drew/"painted" (with felt-tips) a picture featuring zombies doing zumba. Zumba zombies are well-known for shaking back and forth a lot as well as for having a great feeling for rhythm, or at least a better feeling for rhythm than usual zombies, which means basically that their feeling for rhythm sucks. Ahem.

Here*s the picture :

And you have guessed right ("I haven*t guessed ANYTHING!!"), I listened to Lady Gaga*s "Do What U Want" ... A lot. I somehow love my zomba crowd. :D

I couldn*t scan the picture decently, so this is a photograph of it, d*uh. But I hope you will like it nevertheless and forgive me for my absence. I wuv you all!!

Wunderbares Rauschen. { Eat Me }

SOMEHOW I refused to get online yesterday, which now randomly reminds me of the movie "Blades Of Glory". "I WON A LOT OF RADIO CONTESTS BECAUSE I REFUSED TO GET OFF THE LINE!!!" (or something like this) XD~.

And that said, the title of the song I started working on yesterday reminds me of a lot of different things that appeared in my life. I just couldn*t come up with anything else. "Eat Me" is the title. It was more of a trial-and-having-the-option-for-error thing, but it actually sounds like a nice idea. I tried to be more minimalistic this time. Usually, when writing songs, I tend to go overboard with everything; I want every instrument to play something else, and so on ... There is an experimental "touch" "Eat Me" delivers, too, because I used two probably unrelated scales in the song, which is to say, "No harmonised major scale this time!!"

EVERYBODY goes POUT. I actually love the idea, though. Especially the ending is precious. And I sense my songs are getting longer again ... Which is good, too.

Anyways, I spoke way to much : Have some VV music. And refuse to get off the line~!!

THE COMING OUT.

Hello ...

Today isn*t one of the days I post something really creative, it is just some kind of "apology", even though it goes much deeper than this. I am currently wondering whether there really is a link between something like creativity in a general way AND being extremely depressive from time to time, and no, I do not mean "depressed" but really "depressive".

It somehow reminds me of the 99U talk Brené Brown has given which was posted on Youtube, even though it is really a question that is on my mind a lot. The talk is about creativity and vulnerability, and maybe this vulnerability is linked to being depressive in the first place. However, I don*t want to really put everything of this in the same box.

Somehow, I have been struggling with depression and it really kept me away from doing something I*d enjoy doing. I don*t know whether you know this, but when I personally am in a dark place mentally, I think I don*t deserve being happy, or I think that I don*t want to make a mess doing things I actually love doing, like, if I wrote a song in this state of mind, it would feel like being violent towards music, and this is a thing I don*t want to end up doing because music is important to me.

I really don*t mean to talk about stripping down to your soul and telling me what you are struggling with, unless you*d like to tell me, but ... It has been on my mind. Probably because I*d feel better then, because this would mean I have something I could always be proud of (But then again, how should I know this is me when I am never *doing* it?). Probably because it really is something that could help others because they*d understand themselves better.

The Heroine

Hello!! :)

I hope you had a good start into 2014 (At this point, really, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!). As so many other people, I want to stick to my resolutions for 2014, but to be honest, I haven*t written them down ANYWHERE. This has to change ^o^.

* (Unrelated to this blog) I want to lose weight.
* (Unrelated to this blog) I want to start working at a new job.
* (Unrelated to this blog) I want to start volunteering.
* I want to paint a quintych (Like a triptych, but made of five pieces), for my room.
* I want to take more photographs (and share them with you).
* (Unrelated to this blog) I want to share more photos I find (from family members, etc.).
* I want to write more songs (both for shrRî.ngAra karanA bleu & Valley Visionary).
* I want to colaborate with other musicians.
* I want to craft (more).
* I want to knit more.
* I want to learn to sew.
* I want to improve my rooms :) (DIY/home improvement).
* I want to learn to crochet.
* (Unrelated to this blog) I want to have more fun.
* (Unrelated to this blog) I want to get to know new people in my area.

Okay, that was all for now :). Did you make resolutions for the new year (also related to this blog ;D)? Did you share them anywhere?

Actually, people say if you share them with others, you*ll be under more pressure to make them come true ... Let*s see how this will work! And yes, that*s quite a lot ...